No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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