there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
This is classic penis vs brain.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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