He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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