we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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