Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I can text with my tongue
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize