So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
