Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
