you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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