i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
