so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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