Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
