He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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