lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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