he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
