Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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