I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
