Jerry, you need to find god
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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