I got chris browned last night
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
