I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize