What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
