Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
