we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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