If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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