Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
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