I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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