SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
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