I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize