I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
