The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
