I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
