He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you didnt know i had herpes?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
