But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
