The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
