Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
