is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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