Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
