i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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