I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
