i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
