Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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