Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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