Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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