Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Randomize