How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
The air was thick with penises
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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