I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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