Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Drake has all the answers
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
