Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
