Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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