She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
