bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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