I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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