So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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