He kissed a someone with a penis
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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