Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
