He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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