Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
