i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
