That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
