I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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