Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
