well I can't set my house on fire every night
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
